| Drunk Author: |
Wong Lofan |
| Description: |
The sexy Japanese girl refused my saki and beer empowered advances... |
| Location: |
Lompoc, CA 93436 |
| When: |
12/24/2007 11:26:36 PM |
| What: |
poet can’t score |
| de comment: |
Outstanding. The best art about this poem is the context and story. Dude goes out alone on Friday night to eat and drink alone, as he does every week. And, as all bars-restaurants do, this bar has it’s resident hot waitress/bar tender who is hot and a little sleazy, and looks sluty enough; yet, she’ll tease your balls blue, and if she’s fucking up a storm, it’s never with you.
So, as any right minded, drunk, lonely bar poet would do, he starts writing poetry. full stopUp until this point our poet’s poem, and slut approach is strong. Unfortunately, he makes a common yet costly drunken bar poet mistake that will ultimately have the hot food-slut telling him he stinks and prevents this great drunk bar poem from reaching it’s full potential.
There are two things that bar poetry and pickup lines have in common. To golden rules that must be followed, or, neither of these methods will ever score a poet ass from a hot slut bar waitress.
The first golden rule, is, neither will ever be effective if you the poet isn’t genuinely fucked up drunk. Not buzzed, silly, getting there, tired, wired, horny, or any other condition other than drunk as hell. I will explain why this is on the poetry 151 page. The second golden rule, is that you cannot do both. One must either write bar poetry or say some bad pickup lines. You may try combining the methods 10 billion times. You won’t score ass once.
This poet ruined a good start by breaking both golden rules. He starts writing poetry too soon. Masterful bad drunken bar poems do not come forth while a poet is "thinking" he has had too much to drink. Your poetry only kicks ass and scores babes when you are drunk enough. Whatever drunk enough might be, it isn’t shy and arrives with no ambiguity. Sure the waitress might not be fooled and think that you only write your poems, or, say your stupid drirect lines, because the booze has taken you over. Sure she might think that either you are a immature, with so little self control, that you get drunk enough to do things completely out of character; or, she might very well see through to the truth and know that if you are writing poetry drunk, or saying pickup lines drunk, then you would do so sober - or would do nothing sober. The key is that it doesn’t matter. She wants to get fucked. she wants you to fuck her. Even if she doesn’t like you. Even if she doesn’t respect you. But, if you are not solid ass grabbing cock flashing drunk off your poetic ass, she won’t fuck you. She can’t fuck you. She is without excuse. She doesn’t have to like you. she doesn’t care if you are pathetic and lonely alone of Friday night. She really doesn’t care too much if you are gorgeous or a drunk ugly slob. If you give her a solid avenue to get fucked, where she can pretend your tactic and poetry worked on her, she will fuck you 9 out of 10 times. But you have to be drunk; otherwise, she will know that you know it isn’t the great poem that caught her. Only a very drunk poet would think that a hot waitress would decide to fuck do to the merits of a poem or pickup. As with all, the truth is she just wants to get fucked. But she is genetically unable to have this be known. You want to know the secret of those guys you may run across once in a while, who don’t seem to have any redeeming qualities.. maybe they are fat, ugly, dumb and rude... but somehow they fuck all these girls .. with very little or no effort?
The secret is the same as the drunk enough bar poetry one. These guys may not write poetry.. perhaps they don’t even drunk.. but what they are doing, is making available, a way for girls to get fucked without worry, bother, notice, and most importantly, without noticeable accountability.
|
|
<--Back to Poem Index
|
| "Snake Girl" or "Hebi Chan" |
Snake Girl
I went to practice my wu shu
Then down to the red fox inn
To drink some American pale ale brew
On Friday- that’s what I usually do
That very fine Japanese snake girl was there
A silver turquoise dorje in her jet black hair
I think I had to much Sierra Nevada pale ale to drink
And the snake babe evidentially thought my pick up lines
Were pretty horrible- because she told me,“ Damn! Lofan you stink.”!
Women born in the Snake year are very sexy! strange but true Chinese astrological fact
|
| Author, Wong Lofan |
|
